dis move

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

blonde

blonde is on 1 side of a lake and yells 2 another blonde across the lake, 'How do I get 2 the other side?'
The other blonde yells back, 'U R on the other side!'

haha women lolzzzzz

There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed!
And of course a donkey to pay her bills!!

going people

There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

frnd remember

Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty.. so the world needs YOU after all!

women

Y WOMEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)no one really understands dem 2)all ur mistakes r stored in their memory 3)u find urself spendin all ur money on accessories for dem!

forget

The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??

dad son

A man buys a lie detector which slaps a person if they r lying...one evening he decides to test it.
DAD: Son where were u today?
SON: School! "Robot slaps him"
SON: ok...I lied went to da movies
DAD: Which one?
SON: Toy story 3 "Robot slaps him again"
SON: ...ok ok, it was porn
DAD: WTF? When I was ur age, I didn't even know what porn was! SMACK! "Robot slaps him"
MOM: forgive him dear, after all he's ur son! SMACK! "Robot slaps her"

men comp

Y MEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)dey r useless until u turn dem on 2)dey have lots of data but r still clueless 3)as soon as u pick 1 a better model cums on the market!

bra lolzzz

He said: "I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it."
She said: "You wear underpants, don't you?" hahaha

climb u

When u climb the ladder of success
Watch out for the men that look up your dress, cause they say u r pretty and they say u r fine but 9 months later they say its not mine.

im police

im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!

breaks

Heartbreaks will last as long as you want and Cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

two blondes

Two blondes were driving to Disney Land when they saw a sign that read, "Disney Land left"
So they turned round and went home.

birdy sky

Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!

haha u and me

I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha

find a man

It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

kiss ass

A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

maybe god

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

mantel lolzz

Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all problems begin with MEN!

eyes beautiful

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

impress man

How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her
How to impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer

under arrest

i hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 0569 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks &sex appeal.remain silent & report 2 my bedroom

idoit cat

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!